How can we separate with dignity?

Ending a relationship brings a great deal of emotional stress and upset, particularly when there are children in the home.

Call 01905 727700 or email

08 Sep 2017

We often see stories in the press which focus on acrimonious separations filled with recriminations and vitriolic behaviour.

But it doesn't have to be like this.

Separation, whilst undoubtedly painful, can be undertaken with dignity and respect allowing relationships, in the longer term, to remain amicable – this is beneficial for the children, and indeed for the adults involved.

There is no one 'best' approach to separation. This will depend on your circumstances.

At Scaiff LLP the first thing we do is to discuss the best approach for you and your family.

This will include:

Collaborative law
In this approach, you would have your lawyer present, as would your partner. The aim is to sort out the issues in a way that is constructive and fair. It allows you to talk about and try to settle what is most important to you and your family and helps you to reach an outcome that both of you consider right for all the family. It is the least confrontational approach and, because solicitors are involved, you can be given legal advice as well as legal information. You have the benefit of both collaborative lawyers assisting you both to reach the best possible outcome for you and your family.
Family mediation
This can be a helpful way of sorting out problems between you and your partner. The mediator makes sure that the discussion is constructive, and can give you both information about the law, but is not there to give either of you advice. For that, you need your own solicitor.
Family arbitration
If you cannot reach agreement between yourselves using one of these other ways, you can ask a family arbitrator to make a decision for you. This can be an alternative to going to court. Although the family arbitrator has to be paid for, it can be much quicker and more focused on the real issues.

If none of these is appropriate then the most traditional way of negotiation through divorce is by solicitors who will protect your position without you needing to face your partner in meetings. At the other extreme, and an absolute last resort, is going to court which is expensive and time consuming.

We can offer advice about the options available to you and help you to make informed decisions about what to do next, so that you can begin to take control of the situation. We're here to help, not to make a judgement.

For more information contact Amanda Wright, Partner, on 01905 727700.

Members: Simon Shaw, Elizabeth Rimell.
All members of Scaiff LLP are solicitors of England and Wales. Individuals referred to in this website and elsewhere as 'partners' are members of Scaiff LLP or an employee or consultant with equivalent standing and qualifications.
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